


Um IDK LOL Just read

by The_Introvert_CP_OC



Category: Original Work
Genre: Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 20:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16750936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Introvert_CP_OC/pseuds/The_Introvert_CP_OC





	Um IDK LOL Just read

My heart beat had never sounded louder. Blood rushed to my ears, tears fell down my face. I closed my eyes, trying to calmly let the darkness consume me as I silently said good bye to everything I once knew. The dull throbbing pain in my arm was nothing, compared to the emotional torture I felt every day. I felt that things would never get better. 

‘You’re nothing,’ I thought to myself. The tears began to fall. I sat on my bed looking at the razor and tweezers in my hands. A couple yanks of the tweezers on a blade and the hardest part would be over. I looked at the fading scars on my left arm. I was clean for at least a month, if not longer. Yet I knew that would change. 

I pulled the blade out of place and looked at the sharpened piece of steel. So small yet I knew that it could end my suffering. Being someone who self-harmed or self-mutilated was never easy. A few months earlier the 8th graders found out. They called me safety scissors; because they had seen me using scissors to harm myself. Even to this day I hear people call me it behind my back. 

I put my face in my pillow, as I took some time to rethink. I could continue suffering and save those around me from pain; or I could end my suffering and hurt those around me. After a few minutes I chose the latter. I pressed the blade against my skin and did something that just a week earlier I thought I’d never do again. 

I dragged the blade across my arm; directly over an artery. As the blood poured out, I began having a panic attack. I ran out of my room, getting a washcloth, cotton rounds, and masking tape. I put cotton rounds on the wound, then I wrapped the washcloth around them, finally securing it with tape. I laid my head down on my pillow, closing my eyes as the blood soaked through. 

I’ve come quite a long way since that day. I’m now in a committed relationship, making better choices in my eyes. I you ask my mother what she thinks about my decisions, she’d say they’re terrible. But I'm happier now so I don’t care.


End file.
